The Reason Black Men and Women Have Hard Times Having a Successful Relationship - Part I

I accept this to be a actual austere affair and one that has been absolutely misrepresented. The accord of African-American males and females, both acknowledged and bootless in no way should be taken lightly. It is said that the backbone of a nation is reflected by the ancestors structure, if that is accurate than our backbone has dwindled abroad at a accelerated pace.

While administering a abstraction a few canicule ago, I came beyond some rather advancing statistics appear by the National Center of Health Statistics. It was declared that in the year 2007 the bulk of babies built-in to African-Americans out of wedlock grew to 72%. This is DEVASTATING!!! Some ability ask why this is adverse because that the avant-garde application of an adequate ancestors anatomy has become that of a individual ancestor household. Biblically speaking, it is declared that, "Every commonwealth disconnected adjoin itself is brought to desolation; and every city-limits or abode disconnected adjoin itself shall not stand" (Matthew 12:25). We as a humans accept been disconnected aback our accession to the antecedents of Jamestown, Virginia some 391 years ago.

It is actual important for us to attending at the abolition of the atramentous ancestors from a actual viewpoint. The problems successful/unsuccessful African-American women and men accept in relationships are far added than what is displayed on the surface. On the apparent we would accord our atrocities to the actual attendance of the adulterated homes, the available lyrics begin in abundant of our music, the physical/verbal/sexual corruption that is displayed in abounding of these relationships, top adultery amount and so on and so forth. On the adverse the problems that are afflictive African-American relationships are abundant deeper. The accepted accompaniment of the boilerplate African-American accord has been anxiously planned and advised some 300 years ago. On the 25th day of December, 1712 the acclaimed slave-owner Willie Lynch delivered both a accent and a plan that would could cause calamity and anarchy aural the relationships of atramentous men and women for at atomic 300 years if implemented accurately for at atomic one year.

The actual adverse article of Willie Lynch (as laid out in the Willie Lynch Letter and The Making of a Slave) able slave-owners with assorted methods to change the accustomed adjustment of both the Negro macho and the Negro female. The a lot of important allotment of his teaching was how to abort the angel of the Negro male. This still seems to be our greatest botheration today neither the Atramentous macho nor the Atramentous changeable has an abstraction of who the Atramentous Macho absolutely is. The angel of the atramentous macho was carefully destroyed so that the atramentous ancestors would end up in abiding ruin. By attributes the macho is accept to protect, accommodate and accord direction. Through the dehumanization of the atramentous macho and the abolition of the atramentous macho angel the atramentous woman and adolescent accept gone unprotected, not provided for (by the atramentous male) and larboard after direction. Understanding that the man's primary role is to protect, so generally our adolescent atramentous women are fatigued to a apocryphal faculty of aegis and tends to gravitates appear a added annihilative angel of the atramentous male. This angel is what we are so generally bombarded with through the boilerplate media. An angel of abandon and assailment forth with an attitude of aloofness is frequently transferred from our television screens and through the speakers of our radios to our adolescent atramentous males beyond America. This is played out to our adolescence that are analytic for character and accepting and to our adolescent atramentous females who are in seek of their macho counterparts. Through the baloney of the Atramentous Macho angel a abundant faculty of canard has infiltrated our communities.

It is not abundant to abode the abolition of the atramentous macho after searching at the about-face attributes of the atramentous female. Through Willie Lynch's teachings, and the article of abounding added slave-owners, the atramentous woman had to be adapted from her accustomed accompaniment as well. Through the ache and affliction that the atramentous macho had to ache while accepting their angel destroyed the Negro women and accouchement had to watch in abashment and fear. In accomplishing this it was accomplished that the Negro woman would in her un-natural accompaniment catechumen over to a cerebral arctic accompaniment in which the Negro woman will become absolute of the Negro male. The a lot of important affair apropos the about-face of the Negro woman was the ascendancy that the bondservant masters would aggregation over her in bringing up her offspring. The Negro woman through abhorrence was accomplished to accompany up her accouchement in changeabout roles teaching the macho adolescent to be dependent, mentally anemic and physically able and teaching the changeable adolescent to be absolute like her in her cerebral arctic state. Therefore with the Negro macho and the Negro changeable getting adapted from their accustomed accompaniment the ancestors anatomy is at a complete uproar.

Marriage is a actual important academy and it is a all-important allotment in comestible a nation or a people. In adjustment for African-American men or women (successful or unsuccessful) to accept a acknowledged advantageous accord we accept to aboriginal catechumen aback to our accustomed God-given roles. The Negro macho accept to be apparent by the Negro changeable as the provider and the protector and the Negro changeable accept to be admired as the a lot of admired asset to the Negro male. In converting aback to our accustomed roles that God had advised both the Negro macho and changeable will be able to accommodate advantageous attributes to the accord and in about-face brainwash solid ethics into their offspring, the Negro child.

So you ask why is it harder for a acknowledged African-American woman to acquisition a man. While there are so abounding apparent answers we can point out we accept to yield a attending at this botheration through a bluff lens. In adjustment to actualize a humans that can abide calm with one addition in accord we accept to alter our article to our adolescence by putting a greater accent on marriage, parenting and community. We accept to advise our boys and girls their God-given roles at a adolescent age. We accept to advise our boys how to become artistic thinkers and how to break problems after the use of violence. We accept to advise them how to become mentally able for it far outweighs getting physically strong. We accept to advise them to how to be absolute and how to be gentlemen starting at a adolescent age. We accept to advise our girls how to accept a able man with abundant values. We accept to advise them how to be absolute out of wedlock and the amount of getting abased in wedlock (dependent artlessly agency to await on addition for support). In accomplishing so, we will accession a bearing of adolescent African-Americans that will absolutely amount marriage, ancestors and self.

Anthony M. McDonald, Sr.

Author and Motivational Speaker

"RISEN: From Jamestown to the White House"