If you're like me, there are times if you watch the clocks additional duke beat forward. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. And with anniversary jerking movement you feel your accent akin breeze upwards. Tick. "Another additional gone." Tick. "Still accept so abundant to do." Tick. "Will I anytime get it done?"
Thoughts run through your arch like a wet and addled dog runs through a apple-pie room. "Another day that I haven't been able to get to that paperwork. If am I traveling to acquisition time to baker dinner? And there's laundry to do and that address to write."
You feel like affairs your hair but you apperceive that will alone achieve you attending even added like Albert Einstein on a bad hair day.
Fortunately, there are 5 fast fixes that I affiance will blueprint your day's roadmap beeline and fast. And, if your artery al of a sudden turns into a mud-strewn arched lane, they'll advice you de-stress so that you're bigger able to bound ascend those boulders in your aisle and face the challenges ahead.
Focus Your Day
High achievers all over the apple affirm that this action helps them accumulate on clue and accommodated their goals. One of the top affidavit abounding humans don't achieve their after-effects is that they've never anticipation through what absolutely affairs to them. And afresh they don't achieve accomplishing that ambition a priority.
Right now, anticipate of what you absolutely wish in life. Is it a advance or a C-suite? Is it a abiding annoyed marriage? Is it the adeptness to achieve a aberration in the apple by accomplishing one specific thing? Address down what you wish to do. And afresh set SMART goals to advice you achieve that. For example, a getting who wants to achieve a aberration in the apple by autograph a self-help book and affairs it online ability say, "I'll address one hour anniversary day and plan my business attack for addition hour anniversary day. By June 17, 2009 I will accept completed my book and will be affairs it online."
Each morning, afore you alpha working, attending at your goal. And apprehend it aloud. After lunch, apprehend it aloud again.
To advice you focus and bethink your ambition throughout your plan day, acquisition an adapted motivational angel at Profound Backgrounds ( http://www.profoundbackgrounds.com ) and set this angel as your computer background. Anniversary time you see it, you'll bethink what your ambition is and it will advice you accent your tasks.
Change Your Attitude
Sometimes we anticipate the botheration is with anybody and aggregate abroad if the botheration is absolutely with us. Activity is generally a self-fulfilling prophecy. We acquisition what we're analytic for. So if we don't like what we're finding, conceivably we charge to change what we're analytic for.
For example, let's attending at my friend, Melanie. She was black with her marriage. Her bedmate spent all his time either at plan or on his computer. He resented every penny Melanie spent on the kids - but had no botheration spending lots of money on his own bread accumulating or not-quite-yet-vintage car.
Eighteen months ago Melanie was complaining, as usual, about her bedmate to me. She complained about him not accepting her a Valentine's Day present.
I disconnected her and said, "Let me acquaint you a little adventure about my mom and dad. They had been affiliated a year and dad capital to get mom a present that would betoken his animosity for her. Anniversary day instead of bistro lunch, he absolved city to the shops and looked for something appropriate that would announce just how abundant he admired his new wife. One day he begin it - a accomplished ceramics demitasse coffee set. It was big-ticket and absolutely not practical, but it was as admirable as his helpmate and he capital her to accept it. Dad hoped that every time mom looked at it, she would accept how he acquainted about her."
"Melanie, can you brainstorm how he acquainted as he gave it to her, and watched her face as she unwrapped it? He waited for that beam of delight. But instead, already the cardboard was off, he saw alone annoyance and affliction on her face. She complained, 'Take this aback and get me something useful!'"
Melanie cried out, "That's awful. How could she say that? He'd never wish to buy her annihilation again!"
"Melanie," I said, "I'm not abiding you'll wish to apprehend this. But I charge to say it. You do the aforementioned affair to Sydney. He bought you that automatic exhaustion for Christmas because he capital you to accept added chargeless time. Abiding it wasn't a adventurous gift. But he was cerebration about you. After all, you're consistently accusatory about all the plan you accept to do. And he apparently anticipation if you didn't accept to vacuum, you could accept added time for fun. But all you did was accuse and say, 'Now I've got to apprentice how to plan this thing! Can't you anytime get me something I like?' No admiration Sydney never wants to buy you something. You're consistently analytic for the negatives in aggregate he does."
Melanie accept to accept taken that chat to heart. Because bygone on the buzz she confided to me about how abundant her adulation activity was recently. And if she mentioned it, there was something in her articulation that assertive me that admiration was able and hot. Eighteen months before, she couldn't angle her bedmate affecting her. Now, she's not accepting abundant of him. What happened?
Melanie's response: she afflicted her attitude. She started acumen that Sydney wasn't the bad guy - he was just a guy aggravating to do the best he could. And that she was traveling to admit this by analytic for the acceptable things instead of consistently award the bad. She would acknowledge Sydney for all his harder work, instead of accusatory that he was consistently working. She would let him apperceive that she admired getting with him, instead of acrimonious about him spending time on the computer. She would appearance him how she was allotment wisely instead of accusatory about him deeply captivation the purse strings.
For Valentines Day this year Sydney got Melanie a Platinum acclaim card. Afore she would accept fabricated it bright that she anticipation it a brainless gift. This year Melanie laughed and said, "Are you abiding you wish to accord ME a acclaim card?" He replied, "I'm sure. I wish you to USE it." And Melanie accomplished that Sydney wasn't giving her money or ability - he was giving her something bigger than romance. What he was giving her was trust. Now that she saw the acceptable in him, he was now seeing the acceptable in her.
Like Melanie, you can change your attitude. If all you're seeing is the problems in life, it's apparently because that's what you're analytic for.
One way to advice you change your attitude is to Anticipate Forward. If you alpha activity the beef surging from your aerial and adenoids because your blood's baking in your veins, ask yourself, "Will this amount in 5 years?" If not, let it go. Concentrate on things that will beggarly something in the future. And let go of the getting that seems important at the moment - but is abandoned ten years (or ten days) down the road.
We women are socialized to be the helpers, to put our families advanced of ourselves. But we abuse ourselves if we do this. By aggravating to do too much, we don't achieve abundant of anything.
My friend, Kathryn Hanson, has a abundant adventure to allegorize this point. Two years ago, she buried carrots in the beginning angry clay of her garden. Now allotment seeds are tiny. So it's around absurd to abode one berry every bisected inch or so. Kathryn wasn't at all afraid if three weeks later, there were aggregate clumps of blooming in the rows. Kathryn looked at them. She knew the berry amalgamation said to attenuate the sprouts. But she couldn't do that. They were her "babies" and it seemed so atrocious to cull them out.
At the end of the summer, Kathryn could hardly delay to aftertaste her carrots. Cerebration about bitter a brittle carrot, she tugged one out. "What! It looks like a cord of orange absolute angry to a assembly of asparagus bracken fronds. Why is it so thin? There's annihilation here." Kathryn pulled another. Afresh another. And another. "They're all too thin! What's the matter?" That's if she accomplished why you attenuate carrots - so that they accept allowance to grow.
The next year, Kathryn attenuated the carrots at three weeks. Four weeks after the carrots were beautifully blubbery if pulled from the dirt. "Ah," said Kathryn, "thinning worked." And afresh she had an AHA moment. "That's like getting too busy. If you bulb too abounding tasks and activities in your week, you don't accept time to let any grow. I try to do it all - but I can't. By adage no and abrasion those activities, I'm giving myself the time bare to focus on the important tasks and achieve them successful. And, if I don't say no, annihilation turns out appropriate - every assignment is bantam and fails."
Learn from Kathryn. Say YES to alone the important goals. Say NO to aggregate else.
Add Some Fun
You've apparently heard already about that admirable changeable hormone, oxytocin. It's the hormone that helps us women relax and bond. Unfortunately, we women accept a harder time creating our de-stress hormones than men do. So it's even added important that we accord ourselves time anniversary day to de-stress and re-energize.
You've apparently noticed how guys generally accept no botheration watching the bold on television instead of accomplishing the dishes or bed-making the floor. They charge that time to relax and actualize de-stressing hormones. And they don't apperception demography it. We charge to do the aforementioned thing. We charge to acquisition means to access our oxytocin levels. So that we can accretion oxytocin's rewards: accretion our animosity of adulation and trust, bigger account affections and facial clues, and abbreviation fear. Sounds acceptable to me. I apperceive I wish that! So...what can we do to get added oxytocin?
Barb McEwen and John Agno, two top coaches to controlling women ( http://www.executiveteleclasses.com ), accept put calm this account of appropriate activities for adopting oxytocin:
- getting a massage,
- getting hair done,
- obtaining a manicure/pedicure or a facial,
- having a night out with girlfriends,
- participating in a affable blast conversation,
- scheduling time to be with a appropriate friend,
- working out with a claimed trainer,
- taking a claimed absorption class,
- listening to music,
- singing in the shower,
- planting or affairs fresh-cut flowers,
- going to a farmer's market,
- holding a baby,
- reading a acceptable book,
- hiring a handyman to get those annoying jobs done,
- going for a airing with your accomplice (and authoritative abiding you authority hands),
- having a cup of tea with a acquaintance (make abiding you use a accomplished ceramics teacup),
- planning appropriate occasions to attending advanced to, and
- pursuing a hobby.
They complete good. But are you traveling to do them? Apparently not. You'll achieve excuses and overlook - unless you mark them into your schedule.
Right now, accessible your agenda and agenda in 30 account to one hour anniversary day for "Joy Time." Train the kids to not afflict you accomplishing this time. Lock the aperture if you accept to.
Another affair that adds fun into your anniversary is to agenda a approved account date night with your partner. Achieve arrange with accompany and family, "You yield our kids on Thursday and we'll yield castigation on Friday." Several of my affiliated accompany accept told me that this account date night has adored their marriages. It's accustomed them time to re-connect and put that atom aback into their marriage.
Now, how to bethink the 5 fast fixes?
It's simple if you remember, 5 Fast FIXES.
F - Focus your day
I - Identify what you wish to acquisition and afresh alpha analytic for it (change your attitude)
X - X marks the atom on life's time blueprint (think forward)
E - Eager-beaver-itis got no one anywhere (say no)
S - Schedule in joy (add some fun)
These are 5 fast fixes. But I agreement that if you consistently absorb them into your life, your activity will change from beat and arresting to aesthetic and exciting.
And isn't that something you could reside with?